The weekend did not begin well. I got the last of my rejections from MD/PhD programs, from Emory. I'm still waiting to hear back from the MD-only programs, but my hopes are very, very low that I'll be offered any interviews at this point that, much less ones that I'll be able to schedule.
For a few hours after getting the news, I pretty much melted down into a dramatic, blubbering puddle of self-pity and -hatred.
Yet somehow, today, I feel better than I have in weeks. There's something about not being in limbo anymore that's a huge relief, even if the news is not what I wanted to hear. I do still have the single solitary interview that I was able to schedule, but I'm not pinning all of my hopes there. I'm going to start looking into MPH programs as an alternative if I do ultimately get rejected; I know that Peace Corps offers scholarships for some master's programs, and I think it may not be too late for me to apply for next fall. Anyway, the upside of the whole “nobody wants me” thing is that now I can buy my plane tickets home, and I'll have more time to hang out and eat good food in the US, without stressing out about interviews.
One big thing that helped me feel much better was an incredibly fun UN party that took place on Saturday night. It was a funny mix of people – UN police, aid workers and affiliates, and volunteers like myself. The event was set up much like I imagine a middle school dance would be (not that I, in my outrageous, hideous nerdiness, ever actually attended a middle school dance). There were plastic chairs set up around the edges of a room lit by fluorescent bulbs, a few pathetic-looking Christmas garlands as decorations, and a lot of really awkward-looking people hanging out and, well, looking awkward. The major differences between this gathering and a middle school dance were 1. there were people of all ages from all over the world, and 2. there was freely available alcohol.
The awkwardness lessened considerably once the dancing started. It was hilarious and awesome to watch – the wide range of ages and nationalities was accompanied by an equally large amount of variation in dancing styles and levels of intoxication.
Anyway. I'm obviously still super disappointed and embarrassed that I wasn't offered any more interviews, but at least I had a good reminder of one reason that I bothered to come here in the first place. I love the variety here; there are a ton of interesting (though frequently very strange) people around (be they Liberians, people from other African countries, or people from the US or elsewhere in the world).